God's Plans

I witnessed a glimpse of God's plan for my life in an ordinary moment.

The boys and I were taking flowers to my mom and dads grave, as we had done before. 

It's always emotional for me and that is ok.

 Emotion is real...

 and it gives me an opportunity to share about their maternal grandparents

 - I tell them how I wish they had known them.

{ I wonder what their relationship would be like.}

I am sure to tell them how proud my parents would be of them. 

How even though they love my chili, my mom's was better

and 

how my dad would be working on their baseball game with them.

Joe asked if I missed my mom and I answered that I did very much so.

Both boys understood.

It was the first time I recognized that.  

They understood what it meant to miss their mom.  

They miss their birthmom.

The hurt is very real.
{ I knew this, after all I've read all the adoption books, insert reality check}

But, it became very real to me in this ordinary moment.

 And it was revealed to me that God had been-preparing me
 to be an adoptive mother for all of these years. 

  I had been prepared to provide comfort for my boys in a most familiar way.

 I reminded them that we never stop missing our parents-

we always long to see them once more

 or have one last hug

 but that we go on. 

We go on because God sends us reminders that

He has a plan that is far greater than we can see. 

And sometimes a portion of His plan

 is revealed to us in an ordinary moment in time.