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Two years ago today, we were preparing to leave to be united with our son forever. This was an amazing hope filled time in our lives. We waited so long to be parents, a family, and it was nearly time. As we prepared to leave, I recall being nervous that he would accept us, and be able to feel our love. Honestly, though, I feared how Sam would fit into our lives and our hearts. We spent years, and more specifically 8 months praying for this day. Why would I fear this? I was nervous that I wouldn't be a good mom. I wouldn't know his needs, he may never bond to us. My fears were more selfish, for this I feel bad. Here is this child miles away (on land) ready to come with us, a strange family, but my mind wondered to selfish fears...
Sam was placed into tour arms at 2 pm on Thursday August 16, 2006. Immediately my fears disappeared. God told me when to focus my thoughts, my prayes and my heart. By Sunday, with Embassy appt behind us, when the foster family came to visit for the final time it had sunk in. I wept. Sam was ours forever, but morever, this family, Sam's first family, the only family he knew were the ones faced with leaving him behind. They walked out as he watched - my heart turned to Sam's needs, frantically, I prayed for Maritza as they left the hotel and for Sam that he may find his home with us. I remember how easy Sam was - I don't recall a time of grief. He played, laughed, splashed in the pool, blook into our eyes as he took his bottle, spit raspberries as he ate and snuggled with his daddy, alot! These were all the things we had waited a lifetime to call our own and magically the fears we'd had melted away and we just were - a family.
We were so lucky to share our trip with our friends Chris and Toni -they surely helped us through this wide range of emotions! And after we realized all the years of waiting were behind us, we could understand God's perfect timing. Sam was safetly tucked into our bed at 2 am on August 24, the very day mom my had passed away 9 years earlier...
All of this helps me put the wait for Joe into perspective, thanks for letting me share. Thank you Sam for all you have shown and given to us in the past 2 &1/2 years, we are so lucky. I love this world thru your eyes.
