Good Thing I Like Roller Coasters?

Posted to Yahoo Sept 28

I don't like them that much, but it is the only way I know how to start this entry. I have been through an international adoption and know they are a roller coaster, but this is the biggest hill we have faced to date. It is difficult for me to post, but think it will help sort thru the options.
We have received information from the US Government issuing a warning about proceeding with Guatemalan Adoptions. Until now, we understood that as long as our power of attorney was in Guatemala prior to 12/31/07 that our lawyer would be able to proceed on our behalf. News yesterday suggests that all adoptions not complete by 1/1/08 will be stopped. This could mean that if we accept a referral then we could wait indefinitely to bring our child home.
I called Dan at work yesterday in a panic and we discussed it a bit. I am so thankful for him because he brings such rational viewpoints to an irrational situation. His point: At this very moment, we do not have to make a decision. We have a couple of weeks to decide. What we do from here is this: we get our dossier back from the consulate (today), submit it and our I171 to FTIA (our agency), and be placed on the list for a referral. Then it is decision time. We must choose whether to take a referral at that moment or wait until adoptions are more stable in Guatemala.
This brings up a whole new set of issues. If we accept a referral, we will have the joy in our heart that we have been waiting to fill. We will have a brother for Sam from his birth country. We however we will be fully committed to this child. Shortly after receiving Sam's referral, we felt an undeniable bond, even before seeing him at 10 weeks old. There is a slim chance that adoptions will be halted permanently and we will not be able to bring our child home. Our child may also be older that we would hope and bonding would begin later than we had planned for. While waiting, I know that a large piece of my heart and mind will be in Guatemala.
On the flip side, if we decide not to take a referral at this time: our application would remain on the waiting list and at any time that adoptions to Guatemala are open and we feel we are ready, we can request a referral. This could be weeks, months, or heaven forbid years. We do run the chance that we may never realize our dream of a brother for Sam from Guatemala. I am dealing with God's plan right now. It could mean that this is not God's plan. He may have another plan for Sam's family. Also, we are emotionally invested in this adoption already. We have dreamed of our family set with 2 handsome little boys - it is difficult to give up that dream, even to put in on hold.
I ask that you think of us as we weigh the options that we have. We read all updates that we can surrounding Guatemalan adoptions. We rely heavily on our adoption agency and their expert opinions and on our FTIA chat group. We pray that God's plan will be revealed to us very soon.
My mind says wait, but my heart says move forward